Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Run-on sentence

If you chose to play video games at 5 in the morning, then the volume better be really low. You could choose to play sports or shooting games at this early hour. If you spend to much time playing these games games, where you shoot everything you see, you will be very tired.

2 comments:

  1. I like it but you have too many games in a row.Hahaha oh well just delete it. I also think that the very last part that says you will be very tired is the only part I would change or just get rid of

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  2. I think the last sentence should maybe say something like... If you spend too much time playing these games where you shoot everything, you will be very tired the next morning..

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